


If I can't have you (I don't want anyone)

by catherinegrant, Musetotheworld



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Ficset, Gifset, There are guns (but no gunshots), emotional discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-10 14:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catherinegrant/pseuds/catherinegrant, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musetotheworld/pseuds/Musetotheworld
Summary: "Are you saying this is over?""It is."With those words, Kara feels her heart shatter. After so much, how can it be over? And is there any way to change Cat's mind?





	If I can't have you (I don't want anyone)

**Author's Note:**

> Ficset collab for Day 4 of Supercat Week

This work depends on a custom workskin. If you are seeing this message, please scroll up and click _Show Creator's Style_. Alternatively, if you are reading this via an e-reader or app and the images are not showing up at all, please read directly on AO3. The gifset contains the following text:

Cat: I don't know when, Kara. After the attack, having Supergirl around isn't safe.  
Kara: But we don't know the attack was about me. You've been targeted before too.  
Cat: I have been.  
Cat: But Carter hasn't. I've never been so afraid of losing him.  
Kara: But you didn't lose him. I was there, same as I've always been.  
Cat: What if you hadn't been? Carter almost...  
Kara: But... I would never let that happen.  
Cat: You can't promise that.  
Cat: And I have to protect my son even if it means giving you up.  
Kara: Are you saying this is over?  
Cat: It is. I love you, but I can't put Carter at risk.

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* * *

  


That’s it? They’ve been dating for almost a year, and that’s all Kara gets? They didn’t even talk about it, not really. One minute Kara was wondering why she hadn’t been invited to dinner in almost a week, and the next Cat was ending it. She hasn’t even fully processed what Cat said yet, and Cat is already at the balcony door.

Making a decision of her own, Kara stands and follows after her. Cat has every right to call the relationship off, but Kara has the right to some answers in return.

“Cat, don’t you think we should talk about this?” Kara asks, watching Cat stiffen as the door creaks open.

“I was under the impression we just did.”

Oh, that won’t do at all. Cat hasn’t been this brusque since the weeks after their first kiss, when she seemed determined to ignore that night completely. It had taken Kara far too long to break through her walls then, and they don’t have time for that now.

“No, _you_ talked about it,” Kara points out, stepping closer to the edge and turning to face Cat. “And then you did the one thing you promised you wouldn’t—you ran away without at least talking to me.”

That hits, Kara can tell from the way Cat tenses even further. Her shoulders are tight enough she’ll have a headache later, even without the scotch she’s likely to grab. Kara’s smelled it on Cat too many times this week to believe it won’t make an appearance.

“Fine, you want to talk about it?” Cat asks, still not facing her. “Then let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how armed gunmen nearly killed my son, armed gunmen who were spouting anti-Supergirl rhetoric as they stormed in. And then you can tell me how having Supergirl so intimately involved in my life won’t continue to put my son at risk.”

Kara had known the attack rattled Cat, but she hadn’t realized it scared her this much. Kara’d thought the guards Cat hired were the extent of it, a reasonable precaution after the attack.

“You know I would never do anything to put Carter at risk,” Kara says, knowing Cat needs to hear what should go without saying. “But you aren’t dating Supergirl, you’re dating Kara Danvers. My identity is a secret for exactly this purpose. There’s no reason to think the men attacked Carter because of me.”

Oh, that was the wrong thing to say, Kara realizes as Cat spins around with fire in her eyes. “So you’re saying this is my fault, then? My actions put my son in danger, because I endorsed Supergirl?”

“No! No, Cat, I know you would never risk him either. We don’t even know what they were after, just that they really didn’t like me. You know the police are still investigating. It could be completely unrelated to Supergirl or her presence in National City. I stopped them before they could do more than complain about an alien living in their city. I had Carter out of danger in under five minutes.”

“And it’s just a coincidence then?” Cat turns back to the city and away from Kara with a scoff. “You want me to risk my son’s life on a ‘could be’?”

“Never,” Kara swears, wondering how everything has gone so wrong. “But we don’t have any proof this is about you dating me.”

“Sometimes it’s not about proof,” Cat says, anger fading to weary resolve. “That’s not what parenting is about. It’s about doing whatever is needed to protect your child. And if that means I can’t have you, then so be it.”

Protecting your child, doing whatever it takes, Kara knows that struggle all too well. She’d been strapped into a pod and sent to Earth on the faintest hope she would survive and raise Kal-El. All because her parents wanted her to be safe. And she wants the same for Carter.

* * *

_“Alright, that’s everything. Grab the fucking kid and keep him quiet. Last thing we need is him calling for that alien bitch.”_

_“Too late,” Kara mutters as she steers her flight path towards the wall furthest from Carter. The emergency beacon in his watch already took care of that._

_When the dust from the drywall settles, Kara takes a moment to study the situation and plan her next move. And immediately feels panic clawing at her chest. Because Carter isn’t just in trouble, he’s curled up on the ground with at least three assault rifles pointed his way. For agonizing seconds Kara is convinced the shadows around him are blood._

_“Fuck, she’s here!”_

_It’s the shout that jars her out of the panic and into regaining control. Super hearing reaches out for Carter’s familiar heartbeat even as she swings into motion, destroying every weapon in sight before the gunmen can get off a single shot._

_Once they’re safely locked in a supply closet, Kara rushes back to Carter. “Hey, buddy. They’re gone, you’re safe.”_

_Carter doesn’t say anything, but he does throw himself into Kara’s arms. Clinging tightly, Kara says a prayer to Rao offering her thanks that he’s unharmed. Seeing him so close to danger was nearly unbearable, and she’ll do everything in her power to make sure no one else ever gets that close._

* * *

Kara understands where Cat’s coming from, really she does. But she’s lost everything because of a decision like that once before, and she doesn’t know whether she’d survive it again. Not when there’s another option.

“Then I won’t be Supergirl. If you dating Supergirl might put Carter at risk, then I won’t be her. I’ll go back to being just Kara.”

Cat is facing her again, this time in shock. “You—you can’t give up Supergirl, the city needs her.”

Kara shakes her head at that, remembering the years she’d spent in hiding. “No, they don’t. They can do just fine without me. And if Supergirl is the problem, then maybe there shouldn’t be a Supergirl. Not if it puts you at risk.”

“This is not an even trade! You can’t just hang up your cape for this.” Cat is livid now, but Kara stands her ground. “You can argue the point all you want, but we both know the city needs you.”

“I might make it easier on them, but we both know this city can function without me. And even if they do need me, Cat, I need you. I put this cape on to save someone I love. What good is being Supergirl if it costs me everyone else I love too?”

Cat is gaping at her, Kara sees vaguely through the tears in her eyes. She just has to make it through this conversation without letting them fall. Giving in now would just be selfish, and Kara won’t burden Cat with her pain.

“Kara, you still have—”

“It’s not the same.” Usually she’d never interrupt Cat like this at work, but Kara can’t listen to the justifications. Not if she wants to keep her composure. “I would still have Alex, yes. But you and I both know that’s not the same. I love my sister, but she has her own life. You, I want to build a life _with _you.”

Cat goes quiet, but at least she isn’t turning away again. Isn’t hiding the emotions in her eyes behind her old walls.

“You could find someone else,” she says eventually, so quietly a human would miss it.

“No, I really couldn’t,” Kara says, barely louder. “One, I love you. And two, if being with me is a danger the way you believe, finding someone else would bring them the same risks. Either dating me puts you in no added danger, or I shouldn’t be around humans at all, even as Kara Danvers.”

Silence falls again, and Kara waits. She’s said her piece; now it’s Cat’s decision. At least this way they actually talked about it. That’s all Kara can ask.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Cat admits. “I can’t risk Carter, and the city needs Supergirl. I don’t know how to do that and still have you.”

“I’m not asking you to have all the answers. I’m asking you to trust that we can find them together.”

A single nod is all the reaction Kara gets. It’s not a promise, not a declaration that they can get past this, but it says Cat is at least willing to try. It’s hope, and Kara can work with that.


End file.
